Anna Dudenkova Biography

In the hands of a shabby suitcase, in the bag a bottle. All thoughts are only about how to “catch up” with alcohol in the booth of a public toilet, and who to instruct to look after the baggage. This is Anna Dudenkova ten years ago. Although rather just Anya, without a surname, without a family - her parents had long stopped home. She did not see her daughter for many months. On that day, she got on the bus without a special purpose, in another city no one was waiting for her.

But it turned out - this old Pasik took her into a new life, where Anna not only defeated her addictions. She began to help other women with children, who also, as she once ended up on the sidelines. Photo: The Life ONE Project: The Life One project is now Anna Dudenkova - the head of the Center “Life alone”, for hundreds of women whom she helped to return to society, she is Anechka, for colleagues from the Public Council under the Ministry of Demographic and Family Policy of the Tver region - Anna Yuryevna, but most importantly for her name - mother.

Anna fought for several years to regain her child. It all started in the club for the first time Anna tried drugs after a divorce from her husband. He left, leaving her with a little daughter, left for Moscow, found a job, a new family. She tried to get distracted, her friends were invited to the night club. There I met DJ. They were brought by the children of the wealthy Muscovites.

My friend DJ and friends decided to play a trick on me - they poured these substances to me. It was very bad. But after a couple of weeks, the same company in which I found myself suggested repeating. I agreed. And then it started ... I began to use not only on weekends, the family saw that something was wrong. It was ashamed, I could no longer stop. I thought - I will leave for Moscow, I will find a job, all this will be forgotten.

It didn’t work out, ”Anna admits. In the capital, the problem only worsened. A new relationship appeared, the guy used “heavy” drugs. Anna - with him: - Parents soon guessed everything. I lied. She said that she got a job, but they deceived me, they did not give money. Each time I invented new versions - from the theft of cash to my own illness, for the treatment of which the funds listed by them went.

She made attempts to quit-she left for her father in the Caucasus, but six months later she returned and all started in a new way. Ani was no longer for mom. She refused to give her granddaughter a dependent daughter, and, seeing what her Anya turns into, simply closed the door in front of her. I came, bursting at the door. But my mother was wise and persistent, did not show co -dependence, because then it was right.

For this behavior, I am very grateful now to my mother. But then, of course, I felt that everyone betrayed me, ”said Anna. There is no family, most friends are already in the cemetery - the woman understood that such a share is to die from an overdose or become a victim of the murder, she could wait for her itself. And then Anna decided to go to God. But, going to church, she felt how other people were not happy with her here - parishioners with condemnation and disgust looked at the drug addict in a dirty jacket.

And for some reason she firmly decided that I would no longer return there until God himself finds me. I won’t go to his temple. The meeting at the station that day at the station Anna asked an unfamiliar man to bother her suitcase. She returned very drunk. The guy noticed this, but did not condemn. And then they found themselves together in the same bus. He got hooked and began to speak.

I said, I remember that his name is Sergey, then something about the rehabilitation center. And then he said the phrase - "There you will meet with God, change your life." I turned on. I grabbed these words as a straw, ”Anna admits. The next day, she was already in a rehabilitation center opened in Tver as a priest, thereby a guy from a bus. Every day was a test for Anna. When you sober, feelings are aggravated.

And the drug addict only feels with a minus sign - anger, resentment, self -pity. But the mother with addiction also has a huge feeling of guilt in front of the child, longing for him. Anna now knew that she was ready to go through all the trials to defeat drugs and regain her daughter. Two years took rehabilitation. Proud that she coped, came to my mother, please give me my daughter.

And she said no. I did not believe that I had changed, I did not believe that you could live now for the sake of others. And the courts began for the right to custody over my Margarita. The girl herself did not want to return to her mother. The period of courts coincided with other events in the life of a social activist. More mothers with children began to enter the center.

They needed a special recovery program, different from the program for other dependent. Anna began to help other women. Photo: the project “Life alone” Anna began to help other women. Photo: the project “Life alone” - the founder of the centers, the priest Sergey Alekseev, proposed to develop a separate project for such mothers. My experience and my struggle for my daughter gave me the strength to lead the new center.

At first these were rented apartments where we inspired women with children. But this is a temporary option.I needed a house from where they would not be expelled at any time, for which you do not have to pay every month. And the construction of the Life is one center began. The family watched Anna's life from taking drugs from the drugs, they began to let her into the house, she took Margarita with her for a while.

The trial ended with the signing of a settlement agreement. The daughter soon began to live with Anna. But now I have a very good relationship with Margot. When she says: “Mommy, don’t worry”, “Mommy, let's do it together,” I understand that everything was not in vain. Margo 16 years old, she helps me a lot in the center. I also managed to restore my mother, I can say that we are now real friends, ”says Anna Dudenkova.

Photo: the project “Life is one”: the project “Life alone” by his experience is the head of the center with other women with children and shows it by example that you can return and eat for anyone. Over the four years of the existence of the project, Anna and her team helped almost women. In Tver, a large house was built for donations and funds of sponsors, their own premises of the Center for Assistance to mothers.

All this year we have been providing full assistance in restoring health, its social and legal status, documents. We help to restore labor skills - our girls are undergoing training courses, and of course, we distribute work at home. There is a schedule who cooks today, who is cleaning in common rooms.

The annual program is divided into three stages: the initial stage is rehabilitation, the second is adaptation, the third is volunteering and socialization, ”the head of the center explains. Photo: the project “Life alone”: the project “Life alone” helps mothers believe in themselves, to see what life can be without dependencies - together they read books, go to concerts, theaters, go to church.

We have a psychologist who helps to restore the relationship of mother and child. There is a day for mom, an hour for mom. We go through trainings, lessons, I study myself, I’m going to the conference of crisis centers for the exchange of experience soon. There are few centers as ours. In different regions of Russia, dependent women are offered short -term residence in crisis apartments.

But the annual recovery programs are units, or they are paid. In the center, mothers can learn a new profession and live without dependencies. Photo: The “Life alone” project in the center of the mother can learn a new profession and live regardless. Photo: the project “Life alone” Anna is sure: women in order to recover, it is important to change not only internally, but also outwardly.

Friends of the center, hairdressers and stylists make fashionable haircuts, manicure for free people, pick up stylish images. The biggest victory, when they return - beautiful, successful, talk about work, about a new family, about what their children learned.